You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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