so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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