i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
