I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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