If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize