i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
