used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
