i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
