i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
