Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
