So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
