And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
