good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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