we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
