I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
