Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
