I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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