try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
