I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
