My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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