I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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