she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
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He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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