Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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