Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
