The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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