Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
