we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
