Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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