my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
