I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
