I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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