so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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