whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
