Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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