PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
