Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His nipple licking is glorious
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