they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
