i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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