we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
