Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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