I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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