do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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