my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
