and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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