i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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