That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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