Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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