Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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