like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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