community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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