i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
