Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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