We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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