If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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