Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
