Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
