Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
