had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
