Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
