You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
