its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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