Non-Jews are for practice
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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